How to stay lean as a stoner

Stoners are pretty infamous for a certain lifestyle. It usually involves lots of not that healthy food and also, depending on the person, a mostly sedentary way of living.

Sadly, this lifestyle is known to make people quite fat.

So in this post, I want to give you some ideas, how you can stay lean as a stoner. This post will not necessarily help you much with losing weight, you probably need some harder changes there.

But if you feel like you are getting chubby and want to stop that, here are some ideas for you:

Don‘t order food

Well, this may sound hard, but if you think about it, it‘s a relief. You don‘t have to face a stranger at the door and you also save some money. Also, most of the time you order more than you actually need and continue to eat, even though you are saturated.

There are alternatives: Instead of ordering chinafood, you can buy some ramen and eat it with a few sliced carrots. It won’t take you long, the portions are not too large and it is incredibly cheap.

Drink tee

While and after you smoke, it‘s nice to have something to drink. And it‘s basically impossible to survive a big bong hit without a beverage afterwards. Water is obviously best, but it’s not that tasty.

However, soda or juices are sweet, but they are one of the biggest reasons why stoners, or people in general, get fat. Instead, buy some tee, let it cool a bit and enjoy. Choosing the perfect flavour can be great fun and I recommend trying a lot of different styles.

Water

Remember the time I bashed water one paragraph above? Well, you have to get used to it, but a glass of cool water can be pretty refreshing. If you don’t like the absence of flavour, squeeze some lemon into it. Somebody told me this is healthy, but it is also quite tasty.

Cut the sugar

Just don’t put sugar or milk in your tee. Same for coffee. This is a simple rule to live by and it might take some dedication at first. However, it will help you to stay lean and you will do your teeth a great favour, too.

Also try to cut down an sugar in general. It makes you not only fat, but also lazier and it is quite addictive. If you like cereals, try some almond milk instead of regular milk. It tastes different, but it’s a good alternative and has a lot less sugar in it.

Try different snacks

Sure, Doritos and chocolate are great, but they won’t let you stay lean. Vegetables and fruits can be a great alternative. Apples and bananas are sweet, and two or three of them can easily replace a bar of chocolate. Instead of chips, try some tasty nuts. (Food of course (I am deeply sorry for my sense of humor))

Take a walk

Walking around at night can be awesome, the same goes for walks through forests or fields. It is an amazing feeling and it also burns quite a lot of calories and makes your lifestyle a little more active. So get up from the couch from time to time and enjoy some fresh air. City lights and the stars look incredibly awesome while stoned.

To take walks is also incredibility sophisticated, so it has that going for it.

Bodyweight exercises

Fuck the gym. Period. Regular people have difficulties to go there regularly, so it’s even harder for lazy ass stoners. Also, instead of spending your money on a gym membership, you can use it to buy more weed.

But exercise is very beneficial, not just for weight loss. It can feel great, it improves willpower and posture.

The great thing about bodyweight exercises is that you don’t have to leave your house. (Except maybe for some jumping stuff, depending on your neighbourhood)

So, try doing some pushups regularly or better yet, buy a simple pullup bar. And use it regularly. Even 5 minutes of exercise everyday help you to stay lean.

There is a lot of great stuff about bodyweight training on the internet. I also recommend Mark Lauren’s “You are your own gym”.

Protip: If you are comfortable with an exercise, try doing it high. It feels amazing and puts you into a ninja mode.

Smoke breaks

Don’t smoke weed everyday, despite of what catchy tunes are telling you. On the days of, take some walks, enjoy a nice book or go out. Get active. You will build less tolerance, need less weed and probably eat less.

All in all

If you feel like you are getting fat from all the munchies, try to integrate some if these ideas into your life. Start small, but stick to your goals. Say “I wont order food in the next month” or “I will drink tee instead of soda”.

Don’t push yourself to hard. If you absolutely can’t stand fruits and want to eat chocolate, so be it. Take another idea instead.

And to finish this of with the mandatory, vague motivational message: Being a stoner is not just about smoking weed. It is about always trying new, interesting, strange and weird things. So go try stuff!